jusT thE simpLe bLog.

2008-07-31T13:45:00.005+08:00

hasn't been posting for some days.
i don't know what to post about for the last few days.

well anyway, i've got a few pairs of new socks.

been rushing for the first panel review for FYP.
the prototype robot built.

& i've gain weight.
but haven't reach my target.
-.-

tmr's the lunar 7th month day 1,
in short, the hungry ghost festival.
so peeps do take care & don't stay out too late.
but if u happen so,
don't be afraid if u saw someone wearing black walking around cck/tw/bp/yt area in the middle of the night.
it could be just me.
=]

2008-07-20T16:29:00.004+08:00

went out to bugis with jie & jissco ytd.
the burger king outlet over at bugis isn't very good.
don't go to that outlet.
lol.

slack around bugis the whole day.
i went to DC heros shop,
brought two shirts.
& i'm addicted to buying shirt when my mood is down.
Lol.
there goes another hole in my wallet.

speaking of money,
i'm so going to get a job soon.
going to submit my application form for a part-time job with the Singapore pools.
like finally?
cause i actually filled up that form during may.
9th may to be exact.
Lol.

oh,
& my sis in alpha approached me to teach her younger sis maths.
yeah i can teach maths.
wahaha.

anyway,
got a free cap from DC heros & a poster.
i loved the cap. =D

wooot!
SUPERMAN~

lol.

-i shall learn to leave everything behind-
-shhh-

2008-07-18T17:02:00.004+08:00

yesterday during afternoon class,
a quarrel broke out in the middle of the lesson during break time.
ended with a fight in the washroom with 2 on 1.
& the guy that got beaten up didn't come to school tdy.

i don't really know what caused the fight but it's really stupid.
the guy that got beaten up is really a noob in the first place.
it's obvious that he doesn't know how to fight yet he accepted the challenged in the washroom.
& ended up being ganged on by 2.
dumb arse.

too bad no pics,
i was busy laughing away at the stupidity then to take some pics.

i went to lot one in the late evening,
i walk in the guardian store & a promoter approached me.
the first thing she ask if i'm looking for some facial,
i said not really i was just looking around.
but she introduced me to some facial products anyway.
& she can see that i have oily face,
even though i had just bathed & washed my face right before i went to lot one.
-.-

well, she's experienced in promoting cause she got me to buy two products.
-.-

well i just hope it works.
it cost me 41.6bucks.
-.-

i'm so broke.

2008-07-15T18:54:00.006+08:00

stayed in school till 10pm ytd.
got home & ate maggie. did nothing much and went to sleep.

forbidden stuffs in alphaCtr - food.
but who cares? haha.

cleared some seniors' table tdy.
they had finished their competition,
& the guys had got in NS.
most probably won't be seeing them anytime soon in alphaCtr.

those tables they took was suppose to be ours anyway.
we had to make shift with temporary tables while they worked on their competition that time.
& now we took over the space officially.

my new space. =]

still abit empty though.
not really used to it.
i prefer my table to be full of stuffs.
stacks with tools & just stuffs.
neatly of course, just not too messy where things go missing.

-edit- 9.35pm

stayed back in school again tdy.
was doing my stuffs halfway when my supervisor came & gave me this.

shocked.
haha, so nice of him to give me a chocolate.
=]

2008-07-14T14:57:00.007+08:00

added a song to my blog.
it's nice, do enjoy.

Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade.

-the mv-

-the lyrics-
The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

to breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Your impossible to find.

2008-07-12T15:31:00.002+08:00

sometimes a person should really reflect on oneself.
a person should open their mind & look at everything in a diferent angle.
because u might find out that u are too oblivious to what's happening.
what ur actions have caused.

& u might see what u never know.

to be conti..

2008-07-12T02:22:00.000+08:00

today was tiring.

2008-07-10T19:48:00.003+08:00

TAGGED BY Beatrice. :]
1) What do you want most?
ans: her to be happy.

2) what's your current mission?
ans: to make her happy, to care for her. (still learning)

3) What's your favorite thing to do?
ans: coming up with nice things to make her happy. =]

4) Do you think money can buy you happiness?
ans: no, but maybe can help. depends on what you do at the end of the day.

5) If you can have one dream come true, what would it be?
ans: be with her.

6) Do you believe that you can live without money?
ans: under some circumstances, yes. (stone-age living)

7) Who do you want to be with right now?
ans: her. =]

8) What is love?
ans: too hard to say it out.

9) What do you dream about of doing in the future?
ans: able to give happiness to those i treasure.

10) List 3 good point about the person who has tagged you.
ans: adorable, talented, cheerful(quite). Lol.

11) What makes you happy?
ans: if she's in a good mood when with me.

12) What type of person do you hate the most?
ans: liers, backstabbers, pple who uses underhand means to get what they want.

13) Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?
ans: somewhere with cooling weather.

14) At what age do you intend to marry?
ans: never think of that. just wait for the time to come, i will know.

15) How many children do you intend to have?
ans: i don't really like childrens.

16) What I wished for?
ans: her, to accept me.

17) If you had a chance to change your life, what would you want to change?
ans: everything. the past.

18) If you can be one type of food, what would it be?
ans: KFC chicken.

19) Are you courageous enough to tell a person you like him/her?
ans: yes.

20)What are u doing now?
ans: typing this.

Instruction:
Remove 1 questions from above & add 1 as your personal question.
Make it a total of 20 questions.
Then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.
Notify them that they have been tagged.
-don't know who to tagged yet-

2008-07-10T16:18:00.002+08:00

came home early today.
rare that i came home so early.
suppose to have FCS retest paper at 0530hrs.
but i just don't have the mood.
further more i didn't study.
& i have the strong feeling i will just fail again.
so i skipped it.

anyway.
nothing else to be talk about today.
mood spoilt.
just because of a bugger.
well it's not that i'm perfect either.
still have a long way to go for me i guess.

anyway,
stop. listen. understand. think. wake up.
-my new motto.

2008-07-10T01:26:00.002+08:00

today(wed), woke up at 5:09am.
without alarm.
i slept at around 1am last night.
amazing huh?

just because i told myself i want to send her to school in the morning.
lol.
she reached school at about 0715hrs.
my lesson starts at 1000hrs.
-.-
took 970 from commonwealth back to bukit panjang,
then took 184, pass by school, loop at clementi,
before dropping down to school.

i don't want to talk about what happened afternoon onwards after class.
no point.
=]

2008-07-08T22:26:00.005+08:00

alright.
changed a new skin.
but forgot to back up the old one.
so i kind of lost everything.
including links, tagboard code & stuffs.
worse still i forgot mytagboard account login particulars.
have to start from scratch again.
so leave me a tag if u want me to link u,
when my tagboard is up.
=]

*ok i managed to get my old tagboard back up. ^^

let's talk about today.
woke up late,
as usual.
x.x

right before i left my house for school.
it rained.
initially i told i could just ran across the rain to the busstop.
i went down, as i was about to walk out of my void deck, the rained poured & got damn heavy.
i stood there for like a few mins, finally turned back home to get an umbrella.
but when i get to school, my shoe was drenched.
-.-

there, my drenched shoe. it got dirtied too.
sadded.

that's about all for today.
having presentation tomorrow.
=]
not really prepared yet.
lol.

2008-07-06T23:33:00.003+08:00

hasn't blog for quite some time.
it's not that i just got back my laptop,
i got it back on last tues if i didn't remember wrongly.
just didn't want to update my blog.
it's has been quite a bad week for me anyway.

i want to blog today it's because today mark the end of the demo.
the demo that brought me several problems,
it has finally been over.
but the problems that surfaced hasn't been resolved yet.
u can say the problems i faced has changed my life partially.
but i won't go into details,
i don't wish to say anything bout it.

things are never the same anymore.

on a brighter side of note,
i was forced to improve my back hook(i was the one who forced myself).
although not perfect yet,
but i can feel that it's better then previous.

..

2008-06-25T00:36:00.003+08:00

overslept tdy(tues),
reach school only at 11.15am.
& i'm suppose to be in school by 0830hr.
lol.

my head got hit against the wall.
because i was damn bored,
bored till the fact that i played this video.

my friend next to me got up & strangled me.
he shaked me too hard,
& that's how my head hit the wall.
-.-

had training just now.
& this is my training place for tues.

seriously i am beginning to hate it.
if it looks clean,
take a closer look.
i can say the floor hasn't been washed for like months.
it's damn sticky,
& the bottom of your foot is totally pitch BLACK & sticky after u move around just for 15mins or so.
& walking barefooted at a void deck will only get the bottom of ur foot to be grey.
i should take a pic as proof next training over there.

time to sleep.
nites.

2008-06-24T01:01:00.003+08:00

woke up tdy(monday) lying on my right,
with my ears folded.
& the pain lasted for hours.
-.-

went to school.
ate breakfast with friends.
groupmates went to buy components needed for our robots,
but i didn't follow.
feeling lazy & just don't wish to go.
stayed back in school,
rotted.
Lol.
my table. =]

this is the pellets our robots are suppose to collect & differentiate the colours.

spent some time copying down the lyrics of the song "ying xing de chi bang",
as requested by her as her com can't display chinese characters. =]

it's been a very long time,
yes for years,
since i last wrote chinese characters.
i rewrited several characters again & again.
& i have to hold the pencil very tight.
haha.

2008-06-23T03:34:00.003+08:00

bbq on sat night wasn't really fun or interesting.
maybe it's because that problem.
but it's not convenient to say it here.
it's not regarding me but i'm involved in it.
well shall not talk about it.
& i forgot to take pics for that day.

tdy(sunday),
wasn't really great for me at all.
tried doing cartwheel,
& as expected i couldn't straighten my legs.
no choice but have to start learning how to do a hand-stand & practise it.
good for me too,
trains my upper body strenght.

anyway,
not sure after tdy,
if there's still anyone visiting my blog.
=/

well here's song by MayDay Ashin & DingDang.

i don't find the female lead pretty.
but i still like the song.
it's nice..

2008-06-20T22:33:00.002+08:00

went to her house on thurs.
played audi,
& she was hungry after that.

she didn't want to go out eat,
so i cooked maggie for her.

=]
very memorable.
i won't forget it.
i don't mind if i have to cook for her every meal.
i will.
i want to cook for her again.
^^
must go learn how to cook pasta.
haha.

went for training tdy(friday).
nothing much happened.
erm.
got nagged for quite long.
lol. don't ask why.
can't say.

tdy no pics,
because nothing to take.
another time i guess.
& i got a feeling, i can't slp tonight.
=/

2008-06-19T00:40:00.004+08:00

went to school,
& "zuo bo".
lol.

practised abit of kendo.

took some pics of me holding a bouken.

next time shall ask a friend help me take more.

haha.

2008-06-18T12:46:00.005+08:00

wooot.

didn't sleep ytd night.
was hungry.

erm, ate dinner around 1030pm.

watch tv till 0100am.

went out to mac with jie & cousin.

saw this one the way:

car plate using cardboard. Lol.

this cat isn't afraid of heights, they were rumoured to have nine lifes anyway.

ate mcspicy meal.

my cousin keep complaining that she doesn't want to go home.

so went to play swing & chatted till 0500am,

& sneak back home.

LOL.

2008-06-17T00:16:00.003+08:00

went to school tdy(monday).
finally finished up my circuit board.
which means i can send my laptop for repair of the screen soon.
^^ yeah.
don't have to face distorted colours anymore.

i realised my blog abit boring.
must get used to taking pics & post them here.
but i always forget.

well, she's sleeping late tonight.
doing her school work.
i'll just sleep after she sms when she's going to sleep.
haha.

wanted to watch tv while waiting.
my cousin was suppose to go bathe,
as she had on the heater for sometime.
i told her to faster go bathe,
yet she took her time still talk on the phone.
less then 5 mins after that my aunt came out.
nagged.
-.-
just nice i was in kitchen taking water,
she switched off the tv.
& nagged at us for wasting electricity because we sleep late into the night.
-.-

kao, if my cousin had went to bathe a few mins earlier,
we wouldn't get nagged
& i'll be watching the tv.
zzz.

2008-06-16T10:08:00.003+08:00

on saturday.
rotted..
till evening met up with jie & jissco for dinner.
went to arcade awhile,
watching them play is quite funny.
haha.
not much later on.

& jie,
if u're reading this,
i want to tell u.
DON'T, cut urself again.

sunday,
fathers' day.
but my dad's in msia,
so i can't get to see him.
=/

was suppose to go gym in the morning,
but somehow damn tired.
so slept till afternoon then i went to gym.

after gym i thought of getting her something.
since she wasn't in a good mood these past few days,
& partly because of me(or maybe it was all because of me).
yet i was quite afraid that she will get angry if i just went to find her.
but to think again,
i must do something.
so the risk is univitable.
i took an hour bus ride to somewhere,
brought a heartshape candy,
& another hour of bus ride back.

gave her it.
i hope she likes it.
=]

went to find my mum for supper.
i told her i wanted to change phone.
then she said, "wa, u must have still alot of cash in ur bank right?"
i said no..
LOL.
yeah she said ok that i may buy a new phone.
& then she will most probably use my current one if she likes.

2008-06-14T01:34:00.003+08:00

was about to sleep when i remember i haven blog tdy.
haha.

er.
nothing much.
only thing i can remember is doing jumping side kicks.
was suppose to teach a friend to do it,
but i end up keep jumping.
haha.
very fun, addicted to it.
but the ball of my foots hurts.
LOL.
nvm i shall train more,
jump higher & further.
hahahaha.

2008-06-13T00:26:00.003+08:00

today ended very sad for me.
but i shall not go into details.
because i know it will spoil her mood.

sry..

i guess it's because of my lack of sleep,
i really didn't sleep at all today,
since yesterday night.
i guess that's why i couldn't control my feelings well today.

i'm really sry,
i promise tomorrow i will be better..

2008-06-12T08:33:00.002+08:00

alright, here's an update as requested.
even though feeling damn sleepy now.
stayed overnight in school ytd.

let's see..
shall start from tues.
hmmm..
a normal day.
she hurt her little toe,
so i went over just to see her.
although it's not something very serious,
but i still just want to make sure she's ok.
haha.
u, take care of your little toe ok?
had training at night as usual.
rained on my way home that night.
but still, i'm happy.
=]

wednesday(ytd),
brought her to esplanade,
at first i find her abit strange.
because she seems like avoiding me again.
i feel sad.
=(
well anyway,
i'm still happy i can spend time with her.
at least she didn't really avoid me when we were at esplanade.
& she kept tickling me.
kao, i try to tahan but very hard.
zz.
lol.

sent her home,
rush back home myself,
took my stuff went back to school.
played poker & blackjack & Big 2 with friends.
SUPER HILARIOUS.
u just have to be there & u'll be laughing ur ass off.
LOL.
but inside me,
i was feeling abit sad.
=/

morning went for breakfast at mac.
on the way to the busstop home,
i have to cross the entrance of a petrol station to get to my busstop.
while crossing with one friend,
a van suddenly horned us.
that time my mind was abit off,
it did shock me abit but somehow my head just turn slowly..
& face the van.
it was driven by a late 20s skinny guy,
ur typical delivery worker or something.
i don't know why but i diao that driver,
& continued to walk slowly.
after i crossed over, that guy roll down his window plane & said;
"ey, u buay song ar? this road is not urs ok, not happy come over there and talk."

i turn back & diao him again as he said that.
but i think my mind was too tired & lazy.
i couldn't be bothered & just turned away & ignore him.
Lol.
stupid..
i wanted to point middle finger but apparantly so lazy that i didn't even want to waste my energy raising my hand.
haha.

now at home.
but don't feel like sleeping yet.
=/

2008-06-10T00:35:00.002+08:00

had to go school early this morning(sunday).
was damn tired,
not enough sleep.

went on to the field trip.
first stop was at Hay dairies.
Goat's milk is nice.
everyone gets a small bottle each,
i took one more at the end of the day since there are extras leftover.
but when i left school i forgot to take it with me.
damn it's going to spoil by the time i go back school tomorrow(later in the morning).
wasted.

second stop of the trip,
was at Asia Pacific Breweries.
it's about how beers were brewed.
there's a small pub meant for visitors,
& there's free flow of beers.
but of course, there's a tour fees to pay.
it's not just a few bucks, it's over 20 bucks if i didn't remember wrongly.
tasted some of the not commonly seen brands in the market.
some are ok,
some are totally not.
none taste nice to me.
that's because i don't really like beer.
18yrs of watching my dad drink beer like his elixer still doesn't help me understand what's so addictive about beer.

anyway, i drank only abit then i sat at a corner alone watching the group.
some keep asking for more to drink,
some keep asking for snacks.
some drink till face got red.
it's so fun looking at them.
but some friends thought i was emo-ing.
not really,
i was just tired.
haha.

third & last stop was at some semiconductor manufacturing company.
erm.
boring.
but the factory actually has a billard table,
& nice gym for their employees.
it's not bad.
& the job looks simple since more then half the work was automated.
-.-

hmmm..
after i went back to school,
brought her(& her pet dog, sparky) to playground & play swing.
=]
when we were walking back her house,
a dog(not wild but seems wild, owner wasn't in sight),
apparantly went crazy & kept running in circles surrounding us.
at first i just kept it at bay from her & sparky,
but it still followed us even after we crossed the road.
in the end, i had to stomp the ground to scare it away.
haha, it worked.
the "wild" dog ran away & didn't come back again.
i was thinking that i would just kick it when it keep following us.
but it was wearing collar.
means if it dies,
i could be sued by it's owner.
oh well nvm,
it didn't hurt her anyway.
that's all that i'm concerned about.
=]

2008-06-08T02:16:00.003+08:00

had my OSN paper on friday.
studied for it but somehow the paper is still quite hard.
the examination room was at level 8,
but the level 8 of that building was equivalent to level 12 of a HDB flat.

it has an area where it's like the roof of a building.
stayed there for sometime while waiting for my friends.
it's nice looking down,
for that moment i wasn't scared of the height.
i was even imagining of doing some stunts while jumping down,
& land on the next building structure.
but think again, i would have crippled myself.
or even die.

oh well, there's still some people in this world i have to take care of.
so i can't die yet.
but if i would to become a handicapped,
i would just die.
there's no point for me to live on.
i will not be able to train.
& trainings is part of my life i cannot live without.

hmm..
nothing much happened on friday.

rained almost the whole day this morning(saturday).
went to school,
then went to EverLast at Heeren.
they don't have size S for the black colour singlet i wanted.
sadded.
in sg, there's only 3 EverLast stores & i have went to all 3.

played bball at night.
skills really deteriorates alot.
must start to play more bball again already.
went home watch tv,
slack..

don't feel like sleeping yet.

to all my loved ones,
sweet dreams.
hope i appear in your dreams if u are having one now..

2008-06-06T00:57:00.003+08:00

had my FCS common test paper tdy.
i can say i totally flunked it.

nvm,
shall study hard for the retest.
tmr will be having my OSN paper,
last CT paper for this term.
hope it goes well.

went bugis.
brought a black slim cut jeans.
can considered as skinnies but the cutting is just nice for me,
such that it doesn't make me look very skinny.
=]

brought a shirt & tie for presentation.
& a EverLast singlet.

i loved all of it.
x)

2008-06-03T09:14:00.002+08:00

i tried to flagged for a lrt train ytd.
dumb huh?
haha..

but nvm.
dreamt of u ytd.
when u saw me,
u smiled, and was very happy.
u ran towards me,
but stopped before u reached.
before i knew it,
u turned and walked away.
& soon u disappeared from my sight.

..dreams...
what do those means?..

2008-06-02T16:51:00.002+08:00

seriously.
i am feeling very stressed up.

i can't seems to get my circuit board done.
& apparantly there seems to be going to have a communication with UOB and my card.
plus the weather is always not in the condition of what when i want them to be.

& lastly.
the times when i was happy never last.
every single time.
not just the recent one.
even the past.

WHY?!

2008-06-01T09:15:00.003+08:00

sometimes,
i think i should just die.

i so useless,
dumb,
that i can't even be better then a two-timer guy,
no matter how much i tried.

so what's the point of living?
i am nothing but just a loser..

loser..

2008-05-29T06:14:00.003+08:00

life pass on each day.
& i want to show u that i can be a better guy for u.

yes, i admit i am frighten.
i admit i worries,
that u will fool me again,
& treat me coldly once again like the other time.

but i am willing to love u still.
& i really hope to hear u say u like me.
i do hope i get the chance to be a better guy for u.

have trust,
in me.
i will not disappoint u.

2008-05-27T05:14:00.003+08:00

it's 5.10am at this point of time while when typing this.

had my panel review at 4.45pm ytd.
it took 1hr 15mins.
sadly i was shot by alot of questions.
put it in simpler words,
i didn't do well.

stay overnight in school,
which means i am in school at this time.
chatted with friends through the night.
quite fun.
haha.

i want to train.
because i feel weak.
i need to be stronger.
=]

hmmm..
i just hope things will go well.

2008-05-26T10:23:00.002+08:00

in school at this point of time.
waiting for panel review of project.

hmmm.
about ytd.
i feel so confused..
feelings is still there.
but somehow it feels different.
i don't know.

anyway,
over-trained.
biceps hurts now.
espicially right arm.
having hard time straightening my arm.
& i feel strenght-less.

but i still need to train more.
need to improve.
too weak.

hmmm..

2008-05-24T12:38:00.002+08:00

went to Expo for the adidas sales.
sucks.
it's practically rejected goods sales.
very limited selection.
worse, it was the first day of sales ytd.

if it was the last, i can understand.
but that's not the case.
come to think of it,
adidas products hasn't been very marvellous.
i guess i'm not supporting adidas anymore.

the last adidas thing i'm going to buy will be a jacket.
& i will get the help of a friend whose going taiwan during june to help me get one over there.
after that, i shall say no to adidas.
lol.

i brought a wallet at Expo instead, from another sales events.
need a new one,
old one is spoiling.
the coin case zip keep falling out.

gym-ed this morning.
long time since i last went.
well of course couldn't do as much as i did last time.
partly because there's alot of people around the sport complex today.
i need a deserted environment,
before i can be myself.
i guess i will be gym-ing on sundays instead of saturdays next time.

i'm bored.

2008-05-22T00:16:00.002+08:00

today's normal.
school as usual.

i cut my hair short on sunday.
it's been 3 days.
& i haven complain about it.

in the past,
usually after i cut my hair,
if it's too short i will f***ing feel shitty.
even if i like it for the first day,
i would regret from the second day onwards.

but this time round.
i actually quite like my new short hair.
i find short hair looks more sporty,
it gives the look that this guy is those that do sports, normally.
( not that those with long hair doesn't, it's just that first look can't tell. )

some people say,
i look like small kid.
well before i went to cut,
i actually intend to get a boyish look.
lol. succeed?

some people say,
they prefer me having long hair.
that's of course,
sudden changes usually cause such commotion.
it takes awhile before your get use to my new short hair.
lol.

well, i guess i'm switching to short hair styles for the time being.
maybe forever.
back to the time when i was very young,
where my mum always force me to cut short.

i wish i can turn back the time.
because that's when i'm being the most ignorant about life.
the time when nothing really bothers,
& i live my innocent life.

but the past cannot be brought back again..
or is it possible?..

i don't know.

2008-05-20T11:22:00.003+08:00

nothing to do now,
so decided to blog about ytd & this morning.

went jogging in sun ytd.
shiok.
but i didn't get darker yet.

came back drank my vanilla protein shake.
taste good.
vanilla ice-cream in liquid form with ice cubes.

went to watch forbidden kingdom.
rotted at home from evening till night.

woke up this morning at 7.30am.
i lost my phone.
at home.
i search for it for like, half an hour?
just couldn't find it.
i tried calling but it was on silent mode.

strangly enough, after i asked someone to help.
the phone appeared on the table.
which i was very sure it wasn't there when i look for it at the table.
which literally it means my phone appeared out of nowwhere.
i was still half asleep?
or somethings wrong?
lol.

i went back to sleep till 10 plus.
& i still wan to sleep.
good night.

2008-05-18T23:11:00.003+08:00

ok.
to those who had been reading my post.

here's a news.
it's finally over.
& it should be a clean one.

means it's really over.
not i choose to give up.
but it's the fact is now right in front of me.
so let it be.

i wish her happiness.

2008-05-15T19:11:00.002+08:00

seriously.
i didn't expect today to turn out this way.
i didn't mean to do anything that caused everything.

i'm sorry.
there's nothing more i can say.
sorry meimei.
sorry that i'm not in your school to take care of you,
to cheer u up when u're down.
all i could do is just send u smses which are totally useless.
i'm sorry for failing to make u happy.

people change.
yes very true.
i learnt that since long ago.
but i choose not to change.
because it's our choice.

& i won't totally ignore u.
that's sometimes i will never do.
cause i still care.
if u have problems, u can always come talk to be.
this i promise u i'll be there.

i don't care if u say people change,
i don't care if u say promises will be broken,
i don't care if u say i'm sweet talking.

because that's the only way i can express my thoughts.
whether people changes or promises broken,
it's all up to the choice of the person.
& i won't choose to let u down.

duh.
for now,
do accept my apologies ok?
=(

2008-05-14T21:46:00.004+08:00

today,
i'm not sure whether my mission was a success or a failure.
lol.

well,
at least meimei u're happy for a short moment?
i'm sorry that after i got home,
& when u got pissed by others again,
kor couldn't do anything.
& instead ended up making u more pissed.
=(

didn't mean to.
will try to do better the next time.

anyway tomorrow will be better,
just ignore those who keep bugging u even if u told them off already?

i also don't know what to say liao.
today is,
don't know good or bad.
well, my right foot, second toe hurts today.
for no reason.
-.-

2008-05-13T21:10:00.004+08:00

time for blogging again today.
nothing much happened,
doing my final year proj as usual.

meimei today seems moodless.
cheer up,
since today is your last mid-year paper,
so don't get so upset ok?
haha.

hmm.
btw,
anyone knows where i can get lollipops with great variety of different flavours?
do let me know can?
haha.

i guess that's all for today.
since ytd's post is quite long.
lol.

2008-05-12T16:56:00.004+08:00

today's project day as usual.
& i'm still stuck doing my circuit board routing.
i just couldn't get it right,
& i'm suppose to finish it like 2 weeks ago?
it's really stressing me out.
i wish someone can like help me with it.

i feel so sleepy whole day.
the sun was out but somehow i just felt exceptionally cold.
it's like there's a direct cold wind blowing at me from my back.
or rather there was.
this is the first time i encounter it though,
been sitting in the same place since school started.
& it's the first time it's so cold.

but nevermind,
i should get used to the cold.
it's something i want to do.
not being forced to,
i'm happy doing it.
hahaha.
somehow i'm actually getting used to cold weather already,
just that today is exceptionally cold.

sitting alone now at the so-called "eating area" of my project centre.
i feel so much better,
because of the quiet & peaceful atmosphere.
i guess the season of me wanting to be alone is coming back again.
haha, it's normal.
i have seasons built in me.
LOL.

going to meet my mum again later on after school.
she's off today, asked me to accompany her out.
haha, guess will be home late again.

oh,
& this morning,
reach school not really feeling hungry cause before i left my house i ate a piece of cake.
friends wanted breakfast & asked me to tagged along.
initially i just brought sausage bread,
because i wasn't hungry & i usually can't, can't not don't, eat in the morning.
& if i do, i can't eat lunch.
LOL.
well, but somehow while paying i ordered two soft-boiled egg.
i finished all & during lunch i managed to eat a proper meal.
haha. yeah. ^^v
ok that's just random stuffs.
lol.

hmmm..
i'm waiting..
wating..
waiting for the girl i like to trust me.
i wonder if she still has some feelings for me?
is it because she doesn't want me to wait that's why at times she seems like saying she has lost all her feelings she had for me?
or was it really true?
i don't know.
& i don't want to know.
because i know,
i have chosen to wait.
to wait for her to trust me.
i guess i am happier waiting then just giving up.
not going to just give up like this,
it's not what i am capable of.
i must be strong.
i must keep my words.
i must be a man.
LOL.

oh ya,
my dear meimei,
if u ever read this today,
haha,
jia you for your mock exams.
tomorrow should be your last paper right?
remember study ar.
don't play cabal too long.
haha.
after last paper don't stay out too late,
if u had plans to go out la.
lol.
speaking of tomorrow,
i have no training.
shyt it's going to be a boring day.
-.-

2008-05-11T19:55:00.003+08:00

ok let's blog normally for today.
a post like what u would see in any other blogs.

today's mothers' day,
& it's not that i did not spend it with my mum.
but it's that she worked night shifts,
thus she usually sleep in the afternoon.
so i guess i'll be going to her workplace for dinner/supper with her.

spent the day, wondering around alone.
lol.
took bus to serangoon gardens just for lunch.
i like taking bus trips around.
it's a hobby for me to pass free time.
& usually when i take bus,
i don't talk.
so i prefer taking bus alone.
haha.
but of course,
if u're one like me who take buses and doesn't like to talk,
i don't mind your company.
=]

but that doesn't mean i don't talk all the time when i'm on a bus.
i do talk when i feel like talking on a bus.
haha.

i want to get a jogging shoe.
i want to jog every week.
i want to jog under the sun.
i want to get tanned.
i want to get toned.
haha.

other random stuffs:
-i like my new berms & shirt. i want buy more. x)
-i'm going to apply for a part-time job at the singapore pools.
-my appetite increased for the past 2 or 3 days, i ate much more then usual. HAHA.
-life still sucks though. LOL.

2008-05-09T17:58:00.004+08:00

tell me.
what should i do?
what do i need?

i'm so confused.

go ahead,
like whoever u want.
as long as u are happy,
as long as the guy is good,
i'm ok.

all u just need to know is,
if u are ever hurt again,
i'm there,
i'm behind u,
because i'll be waiting.

because i can't force u.
there's nothing i can do.

except to wait.

what a fool i am right?
it doesn't matter.
let it be.

2008-05-07T23:21:00.002+08:00

the things i can do for u,
are your daily life's "xiao shi".
because things that are considered "da shi",
doesn't come often.

& every aspect of the small things i do for u,
is as important as any great things to me.

to me,
i want to put in all the effort i could.
not just trying to put in a more then what others could.

i hope u liked the lollipops.
=]

2008-05-06T00:54:00.003+08:00

let time..

help u,
& me.

it's true,
i may seems like sweet-talking.

but i'm actually saying the truth,
& nothing else.

that's me.
the straight-forward me.

let the past,
be the past.
i am not your past,
& of course the feeling will be different.
because it will be better then the past.

2008-05-03T09:12:00.002+08:00

haix.
what's wrong with me?
i don't get it.

i really can't swallow the fact down.
i can't.
why can't u at least find someone better whom i will be convinced.

or why can't u give yourself some time?

why is this happening?
when i already try so hard not to let this kind of this happen.
what's wrong with my life?
what's wrong with my fate?
why are they toying with me?
why?

2008-04-30T20:24:00.002+08:00

i hate myself.

i hate myself..

FUCK U KEAT!

FUCK U!

U'RE JUST A PIECE OF USELESS SHIT.

fuck u..

go & die..

just go & die..

2008-04-29T22:57:00.003+08:00

training was normal today.
except i lost a bit of control.

punched the wall too much.
good thing i realised it before it bled.
suffered only abrasions.

i'm sorry but sometimes i can't help but feel sad.
i'm sorry but sometimes i can't help but feel jealous.
i didn't mean to,
i do not want u to feel bad.

i'll be ok.
& i'll continue to wait.

most importantly i am still your kor and will take care of you.
& i'll be your kor,
no matter what happens or what u do to try make me give up.
=]

really.

2008-04-28T20:13:00.003+08:00

when u say that my personality don't suits u.
i actually agrees alot.

u like the cold,
i like the hot sun.
u like to bathe cold water,
i prefer warm water.
u like to stay home,
i like to stay out late.
u like dancing,
i can't really dance.
u like singing,
i can't really sing.
u're popular, smart & talented,
i'm just the average boy.

and well there's more.

but i don't believe that because of these difference that we won't work out together.
i do like windy & cold weather.
i do bathe cold water at times even before i know u, when the weather's damn hot.
i do stay at home. i'm seasonal, sometimes i do stay home every single day.
& i do sing to myself.
=s

life is meant to be this way.
i do hate it,
& yes it sucks alot.
but it doesn't mean i am going to choose to give up and let fate decide things for me.
i will face these challenges that life had set for me.
& i believe i can succeed.

at times i may feel weak & thoughts of giving up fill my mind,
but at the end of the day i will still hold hopes of succeeding.

& at the end of everything,
whether i made it or not,
the answer to it lies in your hand.

i need u.

2008-04-28T17:30:00.006+08:00

don't treat me as someone trying to win your heart.
treat me as your kor.
just like the way it is at the beginning.

as for waiting,
i'll just wait quietly.
=]

if it ever happens to seems like i'm treating u like someone who's trying to win your heart,
it's because i'm treating u as my meimei.
& it's what i have been doing so since the beginning.
it's just me being myself.
x)

2008-04-27T16:10:00.002+08:00

i'm actually staring at the page where u type this entry for quite sometime before i started to type this sentence.

i don't know what to say because just by saying it out is useless.
so i guess i will think of ways to prove myself.
& i am not changing myself.
i'm actually being myself.
this is me.
haha.

=]
i know i can do it.
& i know u trust me.
u know it yourself that i can.

2008-04-25T18:10:00.002+08:00

i know u are trying hard to push me away.
it's ok.
no matter how many times u push me down,
i will stand up.

if u ever have time,
why not try thinking of trusting me?
it'll be easier for u.

=]

2008-04-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

everytime u tell me to do something,
i give in.

yet sometimes when i ask a simple request,
u always insist your way.

i wonder when will u give in a bit for me.
is it that hard?

i don't wish to make u angry.
i don't want.
i just want to take care of u.
& i promise i will wait.

even though u had always gave me a very insecure feeling

2008-04-21T14:20:00.002+08:00

guess i pulled a muscle on my left leg behind the knee.
when i sit down for a period of time,
it hurts when i stand.
& the pain will last for some time.

i wonder if it'll be able to recover in time for my next training.
damn i feel weak.

at least things have been going ok for me now.
i hope it doesn't change too much.

2008-04-17T15:25:00.003+08:00

staying back late in school is fun.
espicially when most of the others had left.

but long hours drawing schmetic makes me tired.
=="

it's ok for me.
at least i think i'm quite a happy guy for the past week.
x)
hope it last.
^^

2008-04-10T13:13:00.002+08:00

pass few days have been normal.
nothing much happened.
nothing special.

nearly lost my wallet yesterday.
left it on the canteen table after breakfast.
realise it when i'm back in alpha centre.
rush back & luckily it was still there untouched.

no progess on anything.
& i'm feeling more dead as each day past.

i feel like i'm living a life of a zombie.
=="

2008-04-04T00:09:00.002+08:00

today,

i came across something that i guess i shouldn't have seen,
but i guess my curiousity will never let me go if i had never come across it.

then again,
it sent all my hopes crushing down..

halfway.

i'm not sure whether the situation i think i am in now,
is good or bad.

but for now,
all i just know is that,

i cannot discribe what is going through me right know.

all i see is an endless road filled with emptiness & sadness lying in front of me..

2008-04-01T18:10:00.002+08:00

it rained again this evening.

it rained almost everyday.
damn.

please stop.
or at least rain after late mid-night near morning.

i want to train.
& i need my trainings.

-.-

2008-03-31T23:40:00.002+08:00

i'm feeling very empty.

i can't predict whats she's thinking.
i don't know what i am suppose to do.
& i don't know what to do.

=/

2008-03-28T13:23:00.002+08:00

back,
from the malaysia trip.

strawberry from cameron highland was nice.
corns can be eaten raw.
but i prefer steamed cupcorns,
with lots of butter and salt.

brewed hot tea taste better then cold.
and i love drinking tea now.

anyway,
trip's over.
time to go back to my daily routine of life.
quite a sucky one.

wonder when will it change..
i shall focus more on my trainings i guess.

2008-03-24T00:18:00.005+08:00

i'm off for the m'sia trip with the ECE com opt comittee tomorrow.
will be back on 27th march.

hope it's fun.

well the main point of blogging now isn't that.
you see,
there's this girl,
whom i took a liking to,
lives very near my school,
which is in the west side.

strangly,
fate brought us to meet together in the east,
only to find out that we both have been very near all the time.
initially i thought she lived in the east.

rumours has it that she seems to like me,
at least that's what my friends says so.
but then again, there's also one friend who told me
that he heard rumours that the girl already had someone in mind.

i can't tell who initiated talking to who,
but all i remembered was,
my friend were standing in between her and me when i asked a question.

she replied me.
that was the first time she talked to me.
she might have thought i'd directed my question to her though.
oh well who cares, as long as we started talking to each other.
haha.
yes, i did want to know/talk to her before the above happens.

as time goes by,
rumours get spreaded
and people begin to think that we like each other.

ok i do like her abit,
but i don't know about her.

i think her circle of friends begin speculation about it too.
er.
it happens like this.
i can't really remember but,
she was standing beside me,
then someone came to talk to her.
he suddenly mentioned about her "bf".
then she says that she's single.
but he continue to talk about "bf",
and he goes pointing somewhere in my direction but above my head,
and goes "there, that one lor, your bf ma".
at first i thought she had a bf,
but after a few moments of observing his movement,
i pretended that i didn't hear anything,
and oblivious to everything.

well anyway.
she's another girl that i've met(second one),
to give me the impression that she likes me,
AND at the same time,

the impression that she doesn't like me.

i..

H
A
T
E

it.

sometimes i see her looking at me.
yet sometimes she seems like saying that she wants to avoid me.

well,
i didn't get her number from her,
from fear of being rejected again,
just the like the first girl.

but i couldn't get her off my mind.
i wonder when will i meet her again.

the only time i may be able to meet her,
is during a centralise event.
even if i attend,
she might not be there.

and centralise events only happen once in a few months,
sometimes longer..

2008-03-15T00:41:00.002+08:00

i think my UOB card is finally linked up.
i could enquire my balance equiry using an ATM.
lol.
i'm really bored these past few days.
so bored that i began to find random pple and crap around.

haix.
sian..

2008-03-10T09:35:00.004+08:00

damn UOB.

Lol.
slow service.

damn it,
& it cost me to miss my chance to get my portable HDD.
knn.

CAN YOUR FUCKING LINK MY CARD UP?
damn..
my allowances are all inside..

i can't even use the bloody ATM to withdraw cash.
$%'^#&*%$%#%$^#%

2008-02-27T12:57:00.004+08:00

stuck in school now.
having summer trainings.

& damn.
1 day seems like 2 days.
time pass so slow.

so slow...

9am to 5pm.

that's a freaking 8hrs.

it's only the freaking 3rd day,
& there's a freaking 16 days more.

2008-02-12T00:04:00.001+08:00

wooot.
CNY is here.

ok it's a bit late to post this,
but it's isn't over!
haha.

went back malaysia for a few days,
collected a few ang paos
but in ringgit.
-.- zzz

nvm, better then no ang paos.
hahahaha.

finally my "fan tai sui" is over.
YEAH!
really hope my luck gets better.
=]

2008-01-03T10:31:00.001+08:00

the new year is here.
but i'm waiting for CNY.
so that my "fan tai sui" year would be over.

the countdown bbq i had was quite fun.
hope next year will have again,
and this time better then the previous.

i feel like learning to rollar blade again.
=]

2007-12-12T06:36:00.001+08:00

nothing much to post.
having common test week.
but has been slacking all the time.
-.-

decided to write down my wish list.
here it goes,

-job, i need salary.
-a desktop com, for games & miscellaneous use.
-a new laptop, for schoolwork & important stuffs. old one for experiments. Lol.
-a guitar, acoustic-electric type.
-a punching bag, for trainings.
-a pair of copper/grey coloured jeans.
-a pair of new shoes.
-more time, for everything. espcially sleeping.

-a more fruitful & enjoyable life.

Lol.

2007-12-03T02:18:00.000+08:00

i lost.

the tournament.
=/

2007-11-23T01:47:00.000+08:00

sitting at cck cc mac now using laptop.
adaptor sockets are all being used by others.
-.-

well, there's nothing much for me to do anyway.
so won't be staying for long.

recently joined ECE Computer Option Club Committee Office Bearers as a member.
i'm kind of alone,
as i'm not very close to all the other members.
i've only seen them in class or around school,
i know them but i haven't really talked to them.
but most of them look friendly.
Lol.
anyway hope good times will come ahead.

2007-11-08T01:50:00.000+08:00

had a conversation with a senior today.
about m.arts.
a senior whom i respect alot.

& i've learned alot..

alot..
even though it's just a small conversation..
=]

2007-11-06T01:11:00.000+08:00

long bus rides that last for hours makes your knees weak.

damn..
the trip to KL left me with my knees feeling weak.
& the tournament is getting so close now.

i wonder if my knees would recover by then.
this is frustrating me.
i want to win.
but it seems that i haven't been doing well so far.
no improvements.

what am i suppose to do?

2007-10-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

had one full day of training.
i guess my sweat can fill a cup,
maybe more then 1 cup.

but then,
i'm damn dissapointed with myself.
i'm not performing up to standard.
this is bad.
tournament is getting closer.

it just seems that i'm the lousiest.
=/

2007-10-17T23:27:00.000+08:00

recently there's something wrong with me.
i realise my appetite has been decreasing,
& the same goes for my weight.
this sucks.
i'm already underweight.

i don't know whats wrong with me,
i use to be able to eat a lot.
but i just can't seems to have appetite for anything.

& my trainings,
it doesn't seems to go anyway.
i find that my standard is not even stagnant,
instead, it's lowering.
this is shyt.

worse of all,
I HAVEN FOUND A PART-TIME JOB!
-.-

bullshit.
what a failure i am.

2007-10-02T18:18:00.000+08:00

it's been quite a while again since i last blog.
& if you have notice the trend, i only blog when i'm feeling down or angry.
i just realise this too.

so, as usual.
everything in my life unfold as i have expected.
i have expected 2 different paths.
one, with hopes of happiness.
the other one, with the reality that sucks like shyt.

& since i'm blogging it here,
i guess it's obviously the one with the reality that sucks.

& seriously, it really sucks.
especially when i thought there was hope.
=/
guess i'm wrong again.

2007-09-21T03:37:00.001+08:00

been training for so long,
yet i don't see any improvement.
this is shit.

just pure shit.

i wonders what the future holds for me.
currently in a damn confused state.
can someone just lead me out of this bloody shit,
or at least just show me the way out.

how i wish i can just say everything out,
yet there isn't a time where by it's the right time to say.
even if i said it out,
there is still the uncertainty of reality that one has to face.
it might be nice and lovely.
yet it could also be cruel and heartless.

because reality sometimes just sucks.

2007-09-16T20:55:00.000+08:00

totally nothing to do now so i thought of bloggin about my vietnam trip.
but i realise for the 14 days so much have happened that i don't know how to start.
so i guess if u want to know more about my trip,
come ask me about it.

=]

2007-09-16T03:00:00.001+08:00

i was back since ytd afternoon,
and i had alot of blog about my YEP trip to vietnam.
but ytd i was too tired and lazy to blog everything down.

and i'm still lazy to do so now.
Lol.

wait till one day when i feel like blogging then i'll slowly blog it here.
=]

want to know?
stay tune then.
Lol.

but i guess my blog is the one of the least visited.
=p

2007-08-30T01:29:00.000+08:00

was alittle home sick on the first day i stayed in school last monday.
not because i'm not used to staying out of my house.
i like campings.
i guess it's because i haven't get over something.

spent 105bucks today on a hammock, sleeping bag, backpack kind of pouch, and a pair of sandals.

the sandals cost me 55bucks.
it was 69bucks before discount.
well, it was a teva sandals.
indeed comfortable to wear.

2007-08-27T07:57:00.000+08:00

i find myself living like a dead person for the past few days.
this is bad.
i wonder how boring life can get.

going to stay overnight in school for final preparation for vietnam trip.
and we have to be in school by 9am,
and only ends at 4pm the next day.
huh?

i wonder what preparation that needs so long.
lol.
but nvm.

the pain in my right hand is getting worse.
the pain is like all over?
seems like joint pain at the knuckles.
but the place that hurt most is the thumb.
the palm hurts too.
and i don't know how to describe the pain.
damn it?

2007-08-24T00:30:00.000+08:00

finished my 2.1 exams.
feeling damn tired.
for the first time in my life,
i actually studied so hard for an exam.
didn't sleep 23hrs straight on tues 6pm to wed 5pm.

after the last paper,
i went to JP with some friends to catch Rush Hour 3.
it's a hilarious show.
go watch it if you haven't.

although the exams are all over for now.
my mood hasn't lighten up.
several things have happened.
and i have been noticing a change in me.
a change which i don't really want it to happen.

i don't know if i can surpress it down.

2007-08-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

at CC's mac using laptop now.
had my DEL paper this morning.
everything went smoothly.
except when i came out my friend told me question 1 was asking for 8-bit binary.
but i only wrote 7-bit in for my answer.
-.-
there goes 1-3 marks.
but nevermind.
it's over.

went home and slept till 6pm.
rotted for the rest of the time.

i'm not crazy..
just a little depressed..

2007-08-18T08:22:00.000+08:00

had my EM3a paper yesterday.
didn't sleep on thursday night.
went to so-called "study" at mac with peg, bao and their NRA friends.
it's quite fun.
because half the time i wasn't studying.
i just did one piece of past year exam paper.
the rest of the time is just slacking and joking around.
hahahahaha.

went home around 6.20am.
soon it startled to rain
ate maggie, read newspaper till 7.35am.
bathe and drank coffee.
heavy rain on the way to school.
stuck in traffic jam 3 times.
reach exam hall around 9.03am,
when the paper starts at 9am.
but the in-charge starts it at 9.05am.

when everyone when in at 9.05am sharp.
i sat at the stairs waiting for people to clear at the front door.
roughly about 2 mins later i went in.
stroll to the corner,
placed my bag,
stroll to my seat.
took my time before i start writing.

everything went smooth..
till i got stuck at question 4b,
skip it and went to do question 5.
finish it but finds it strange with the answer.
went back to tackle question 4b.
manage to find the answer last 5 mins to the end of the exam.
went back to question 5.
realise i wrote wrong equation.
tried to change answer but time's up.
so..
gg-ed.
screwed up.
FUCK.

went home and slept through the afternoon till night time.
too tired to go for training.
but i end up not sleeping the whole night again.
yeah i didn't sleep again ytd night.
Lol.
gg-ed & screwed up.

2007-08-16T02:26:00.001+08:00

just came home after supper.
this supper is considered my breakfast, lunch, dinner.
only did i realise that i haven't ate a thing today after i finish my training.

came home and went to my friendster account.
well..
a bastard viewed my profile.
he's the fucking idiotic bastard, that caused all the frustration i'm having now.
how i wish i can beat him up.
break his bones.
skin him alive.
make him bleed.
chop his fucking small dick and make it fly.
and making his two tiny balls roll before flattening it.

nbcb..
he makes my blood boils.
but it thrills me to write this post.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

but don't worry.
i'm still perfectly sane.

2007-08-15T18:08:00.000+08:00

didn't sleep at all last night.
tried to but just couldn't sleep.
i guess i slept too much in the afternoon the day before.

tried not to sleep this morning.
but still ended up sleeping through the afternoon.

it's quite awhile since i have last trained.
there'll be training for me today.
hopefully it'll help me clear my mind.

for the whole time i'm feeling damn lost and frustrated.
i still couldn't pull myself through.

but i know there will be something to hold me together.
that something will help me to get through life.
i'm still waiting for it to appear.
i wonder when will it come.

for now i still can't seems to fully control my thoughts.
am i losing control?
am i becoming depressed?
or am i becoming crazy?
i feel so weak.

2007-08-14T02:13:00.000+08:00

i realise my whole body has alot of brown spots.
most of them has been there since young.
but some seems to have pop up only recently.
i wonder if it's normal, or i got some kind of disease or cancer.
or i'm just thinking too much.
-.-

anyway..
i'm going out to eat.
time now is 2.26am.
but the main point is that it's lunar 7th month already.
amitabha.

sometimes i can't seems to control my thoughts.
it's like i'm not controlling myself all the time.
as if there's a second person inside of my mind.
and the person is like the dark side of me.

2007-08-12T03:31:00.000+08:00

couldn't sleep, it's 3.30am already.
my old habit of sleeping late coming back?
hmmm..

feeling frustrated these few days.
some of u will know what it is about.
well, i still couldn't get over it.

anyway, went to town around late evening.
strangly, the shops around town seems to be closing very early on a saturday.
espicially shops at far east.
it was only 8.30pm or so when i reach there, and what greeted me was several shops that are alrdy closed for the day.

anyway, brought 3 singlets at bossini.
had dinner at cinne's foodcourt before heading home.

currently looking for job as a private tutor.
hopefully can find myself without agents.

hasn't been training since wednesday.
but my knee still doesn't seems to have recovered.
it still hurts.
i wonder when will it fully recover.
i want trainings.

hmmm..
overall..i'm feeling damn frustrated and sad..

2007-08-09T01:59:00.000+08:00

lesson start 10am, end 12pm.
reach class at 11.30pm.
went to eat at bukit timah market.
didn't have much appetite, couldn't finish my meal.
went home and collect my n73 back from servicing.
my phone's music player still couldn't detect my music files.
the guy told me, i have to reformat my memory card.
so i went home.

took two injections, tetanus & typhoid.
injections are quite fun.
talking to a doctor is quite fun too.
provided he's not telling you about bad news.

at night i tried to transfer some music files from my phone's memory card to phone memory.
but still the music player could not detect any music files.
which means the problem is with the music player, not my memory card.
-.- at least my msg alert was fixed.

2007-08-02T01:51:00.000+08:00

People says life is like a roller coaster, there's always ups and downs.
And they also says, there's more ups then downs.

But why does my life seems to have more downs then ups?
Things just come crushing down on me again.. and again.
When will it change for the better?
I don't know..
Do you?

2007-07-23T01:25:00.001+08:00

The past few days it have been very emotional for me, and it's not coming to an end yet.
i'm waiting for time to reveal how the paths of my life will be.
And sometimes i wonder, what exactly i must do?

2007-07-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

It's a long time since i posted something on this blog.
These few days, things does seems alittle better.
Hopefully things remains the same.
And i'm still addicted to trainings.

2007-07-02T01:57:00.000+08:00

I am not very contented with my performance today at the tournament. I think i didn't do well.
I must train more.

Currently everything in my life doesn't seems to go well. Everything seems to be in a haywire, everything seems to be going against me. Everything doesn't turn out the way i had expected them to turn out. And i'm having a hard time trying to pull everything together back in place.
I wonder how long i can continue to hold on.

2007-07-01T01:24:00.000+08:00

Today is the day(1st July), and yesterday(30th July, just now at the point of posting this entry) i feel so lonely. It's not that i did not go out with friends, i did. But the loneliness i felt is of one like you do not have a close one beside you. I couldn't find anyone to accompany me for awhile, someone that could make me feel relax. Like there's no need to care about the time.
Somehow i felt lost for the whole day.
And i wonder how will it end for me tomorrow.
How i wish i got a gf now, then there's someone i can hug.
-.- dots...

2007-06-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

Long time since i've posted in this blog. Several stuffs happened during the holidays, but i don't know how to go about talking about it.
School have since startled, and starting to get back my CT papers. Only got 2 results back, so far so good.
Been training for 1st July, however i don't seems to improve.
I don't see any improvement, regardless of what i do, what i train. Things have been very stagnant for me. I used to be able to see the results of my trainings or learning, but this time round, things have changed. I don't see any results, it's like wasting time doing nothing.
Did my ability to learn things deteriorated?
What's wrong with me?

2007-06-18T01:09:00.000+08:00

There's something wrong with my earhole, it kept bleeding today. I've pierce it for more then a month ago and it will still bleed?
Suay. What's wrong with my ear?

And i'm still struggling to sleep early at night.

2007-06-13T04:56:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night, i could sleep early. Finally.
But, i couldn't sleep early again tonight.
-.-
Ok. Just rotting away again.

2007-06-11T03:39:00.001+08:00

I still couldn't sleep. -.-
Was suppose to sleep for only 1 or 2 hour in the afternoon just now. But ended up sleeping for 6 hours.

And that's it.

i couldn't sleep now.
Dots..

2007-06-10T06:29:00.000+08:00

It's 6.30am at this point when i'm typing this. Woke up too early? Nope, i didn't manage to sleep at all. Normally i would only be able to sleep at 4 plus in the morning, but today i just couldn't sleep.

I shall try not to sleep in the afternoon so that tonight i'll be able to sleep early. Hopefully after today my body's "clock" will be set back to the right timing, and that the sleeping disorder i had will be cured.

But i doubt i'll sleep before 1am tonight because the show "Zero to Hero" only ends at 1am.
Lol.

The gathering yesterday with my secondary school friends was fun, saw alot of old classmates.
I miss the class.
Chatted for awhile and after that some of us went to watch midnight show "Men in White" at Lot 1. The show was hilarious, it was great. It sure made everyone laughed alot.

2007-06-09T01:17:00.001+08:00

Last day of my CT have passed and i'm free of tests for now. Walk out of the exam hall after my last paper feeling...

empty.

I'm still so bored even though it's the end of my CT. It's like there's nothing interesting for me to do. Went home straight and slept till 9pm. And yes if you have notice the timings of my post are always after midnight, and friday's post are quoted as saturday's post. Which means i had my paper on friday, not saturday.

I think i indeed have some kind of sleeping disorder, i only sleep in the day and no matter how tired my eyes get i'll never fall asleep in the night.
Nightlife is peaceful, it's nice. But you can hardly find people to hang out with. Lol.

2007-06-08T03:01:00.000+08:00

Fourth day of my CT had passed. Although DEL was my most confident module, but it was this paper that made me most "du lan" when i left the exam hall. First it come out with the only thing i don't know how to do out of all the things that i know. Lol. And the last question is very strange.

I'll kill myself if i didn't get at least an A for DEL. Lol.

Tomorrow(which is later) will be having FOOP, the last paper and i'm done for CT. Hope the last paper will go well.

2007-06-07T02:34:00.000+08:00

Third day of my CT week has gone by, which means i'm left with 2 more papers. "chionged" for ACDA during the last minute, went in and surprisingly i finished the paper within 35 mins or so. When i stepped out of the exam hall,i felt damn free. And the feeling is great, i've gone through the 2 papers i had most problems with successfully, without coming out of the exam hall with more then half of the question that i do not know how to do.

Tomorrow is DEL, and follow by FOOP on friday. Just 2 more papers to pull through and CT finishes for me.

2007-06-06T01:47:00.001+08:00

Second day of my common test have passed, the EM3A paper was ok. But still i'm quite sad that i didn't manage to do all question, when i know i could have been able to do those questions. I think i'm performing less then expectations.

Tomorrow is the ACDA paper, yet i still don't know anything about ACDA.

Speaking of life, i realise i'm actually such a lousy and useless guy. I wonder just what's wrong with me? No matter what i try to do and how long i've waited, i don't see a turning point.

Can someone tell me exactly what am i suppose to do in life?